Now, there are many occasions in this world that require celebration, but there are also a few occasions that Hallmark has neglected. One of these is Getting Your Boobs Back from Breastfeeding. New mothers have slaved away feeding their young for a year or few, often having a difficult time of it, and when they’re finally given their mammary freedom and can have a glass of wine at night without guilt, what thanks does society give them? None at all! It’s the same for survivors of breast cancer, those who’ve just had implants / reductions / re-alignments or teenagers just sprouting: go to your local greetings card store and you will see not a female-oriented boob-related card in sight.
My friend Liz recently weaned her gorgeous son Braeden onto solid foods and to right this terrible card-free wrong, I made her these vegan boobcakes. Dairy-free and moist as anything, they’re the perfect thing to celebrate re-emancipation with.
2 cups all-purpose (plain) flour
1 cup sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 1/2 cups almond milk
1 tsp vanilla essence
1/3 cup canola / macadamia oil
few drops pink food colouring – neon pink worked well for me
2 cups icing sugar
1/2 cup vegan margarine
Preheat oven to 175 degrees C
Sift the flour, sugar and baking soda together in a bowl
Pour the vinegar into a bowl and gently pour the almond milk into it
Leave to curdle for 5 minutes
Add the vanilla essence and the oil to the milk mix and stir til combined
Pour this into the dry ingredients and fold until JUST combined
Divide the batter into a cupcake tins – each should be 2/3 full of mixture
Bake for 20 minutes or until they’ve risen into domes and a toothpick comes out clean
Leave to cool on a wire rack (pardon the pun)
Please note: the amounts for this are not exact. You basically want to start with the icing sugar and stop adding vegan margarine when you get the right consistency. Moisture can be added with a splash of milk
Cream the margarine and icing together until you get a fondant-like consistency
The frosting will look a little greasier than fondant, which is usually matte
Add a drop of pink food colouring and knead into the icing. Add more if necessary
Take 1/4 of the icing and separate it from the rest
Add more pink colouring to this until it is a few shades darker than the rest. This will form your nipples
Divide the lighter icing between the cupcakes
Put a dollop of the icing on top of each cake and smooth it over the dome. Depending on the heat and the margarine you’re using, your method of smoothing can be different. Some will be able to get smooth coverage with a knife, but it was boiling hot when I made these, so I had to pat the icing down with saran-wrap covered fingers!
Take your darker icing and divide it into twice as many portions as you have boobs
Roll each portion into a ball
Squish half these balls
Place one squished ball on top of each boob and one rolled ball on top of that
Hey presto: boobs!
I made these pink because I did not have any other food colouring expect green and blue. Of course, all women should be able to celebrate, so please use whatever food colouring corresponds to the boobs being celebrated.
If you’re lucky with these and put just enough mixture into each pan section, they’ll even come out in the perfect boob-like dome.
Boobs: they’re life-givers, heart-breakers and soul-shakers. Celebrate yours*!
*Or a close friend’s.